wait.

I came across this verse yesterday. Obviously it hadn't been the first time I seen it, because what made it stand out was the underline I had put under it earlier. 

Sometimes we like to rush into everything. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one, as I have talked to other people about it... We need to learn to WAIT. Just calm down, take life one step at a time. Yeah, you'll get to the top faster if you take 2 while taking the physical stairs, but in life most times you'll take 2 steps forward 1 step back. And it's perfectly normal. God will bring things in your life to show you who He is. To make you HAVE to Trust Him. He wants you to be in communication with Him. He wants to tell you something. He truly enjoys when you just have to sit back and rest in His arms. He loves you and wants you to know that.

When God tells you something- you better believe it.

Just my morning musings. God bless you on your journey!

of jars and scars.

One of my pet peeves is reused jars that still have the wrap-around label on them...

AND SO... This morning I was washing the breakfast dishes and... there was two of those horrible jars... It was nearing 8:00 and I really should have been going to work, but I scrubbed those crazy labels off- or at least I tried. That glue stuck hard, I laid it- glue down into the water and hoped that till I finished the rest of the dishes it would decide the use of sticking was no longer revelant. And then it struck me- that jar was scarred. It as scarred for a reason. It was not really a BAD thing, but it was to teach me a lesson.

What I've been through does not define WHO I am, WHAT I've made of myself, because without Christ- I'm NOTHING. What others think of me should not affect what I know Jesus has done for me. I know He has set me free- no, that does not mean I live a perfect life. No, that doesn't mean I don't ever mess up. And no, that doesn't mean some people have a hard time forgiving me for what I've done. But I love the word picture When God Ran paints. He forgives. And He loves me none-the-less. I feel so unworthy, but He loves me just the same, even if I wouldn't accept it. I'm flawless- you're flawless. The mistakes you've made don't define you. The scars you have are meant to teach you. To carve you into the person God wants you to be. You don't need to hide them to be perfectly whole.

>>Praise God, we don't have to hide scars
They just (strengthen our wounds), and they soften our hearts.
{They remind us of where we have been, but not who we are}.<<

fear of the Holy.

It was so revitalizing to come home from an amazing sermon this morning and just think. Ponder. Ponder things in my life. Think about how truly selfish I am... (I'm so thankful God is a forgiving God.)

I also had time to sit, relax, enjoy some *black* coffee, music, and curl up with a book. The book that I flew through at SMBI so that I could accomplish the 600 word essay before the deadline... I thoroughly enjoyed reading it then- it seemed deeper than Tozer, but I think I was reading too fast- trying to comprehend too much. Mike Bickle, the author of Passion for Jesus has inspired me greatly and given me many answers to questions that none-the-less haunted me.

As I was reading, I was searching for a reason why Christians today seem so shallow (this has been a search I've been on for several months). AND I found the answer! (At least, I'm pretty sure I did!) And I can't really say it in another way and be effective, so here goes...

"If we have no fear of God, nor the fear of consequences, then we will easily break His commands. The downward spiral of morality in our society is directly proportional to the loss of our understanding of the greatness of God. In the minds of many who believe there is a God, He is only a little more than an elected official-not to be taken too seriously when we disgrace Him."1 

He continues that God/Jesus is seemingly a Santa Claus now days. SomeOne who rains gifts of Mercy, Love and Grace, but has no Just or Angry attributes. Who judges with simple Love and Mercy? Not even a judge in a physical Court of Law today simply forgives injustice without punishment. God even more so. Tozer says it like this: "Between His attributes no contradictions can exist. He need not suspend one to exercise another, for in Him all His attributes are one."

I believe with all my heart that God will become real to many people in this generation if they open their eyes to the seriousness that the short span of life granted them holds. If their eyes' scales loosen and reveal the true God. The Holy God, the One who is Jealous. But if the people continue to see status more important, hope is slim. (and by the way, it's scary, because often when status is important to someone, it is hidden- the motive is not easily noticed in your own life.) 

The greatness of God is REAL. We have to face it like it's real. Understand it is real and worship Him.

1. Passion for Jesus (Cultivating Extravagant Love for God) by Mike Bickle pg.28

vision.

There is one thing that is seemingly getting lost in this generation. It's the vision. The vision of following Jesus. Doing what Jesus did. Giving God our lives, ultimately our hearts. 

There's people I grew up with that seem to care less about God. Yeah, they show up at church on Sunday, but they don't have CHURCH in their heads, in their hearts. Church is pretty much for the party, getting together afterwards talking about the latest car or... whatever! 

To be honest, it scares me. Maybe I shouldn't let it bother me. But really, I think something needs to happen. I definitely do not have the answers, because I've seen children of men and women I admire turn to living just like they want. That is not freedom. It's bondage. Bondage to the one who loves to lie, pulls the wool over your eyes and tells you you're ok. Like seriously the Bible never says that it's wrong. But people today are asking the wrong question, the question is not "What's wrong with it?" but "What's RIGHT with it?" It took me a very long time to get this concept- and to be completely honest- parts of it still puzzle me. For example, there is really nothing wrong with listening to country music, but really, what is right about it?

How many of us will continue sharing the vision of living lives that Jesus would have us live? How many of our children will share that vision? Grand-children? When you put life into perspective of eternity- life is really short. We only live once. We've got to live it right. God made that way- if only we'd believe, entrust our lives to His will and follow His lead.

I pray each of us would pass the VISION on to the coming generations.

To Help and Be Helped

You know that moment you know you should be freeing yourself from the torment. The pain you've been dealing with for the last several years. But it scares you. You don't want to feel that raw, open pain. Being ripped apart, so vulnerable to outside world? But you know after the pain is gone then comes the happiness, the joy you see in others lives who have already become so vulnerable.

The brokenness. The pain. The vulnerability. The trust. It all takes time, but in the end you will look back and never regret it.

We never experience something Jesus didn't deal with. He knows. He understands. And He wants you to live free. Free of guilt. Free of shame. Free of hiding.

You will NEVER regret it. Not once.

kintsukuroi (n.) (v.phr.) "to repair with gold"; the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken

Jesus can kintsukuroi. But only if you let him.

Heal The Wound

I used to wish that I could rewrite history

I used to dream that each mistake could be erased

Then I could just pretend

I never knew me back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame away

Hide all the evidence of who I've been

But it's the memory of

The place You brought me from

That keeps me on my knees

And even though I'm free

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful You are

I am broken, torn apart

Take the pieces of this heart

And heal the wound but leave the scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything

I don't take pride in what I bring

But I'll build an altar with

The rubble that You've found me in

And every stone will sing

Of what You can redeem

Don't let me forget

Everything You've done for me

Don't let me forget

The beauty in the suffering

My prayer is each of you would find healing in your suffering. Jesus dealt with the pain. He hung on that cross for you. For me. He could have hung there. The pain wouldn't have had to register. But it did. He let it. He understood what you and I would go through. He wanted to save us.

Praise Jesus!