When It Really Hurts but You Find Love

What on earth am I here for?

I was asking myself this question the other day- when matter of fact was there were some things going on in my life that weren't exactly wished for. Things that did not make me feel very loved, wanted, or at all accepted. 

Then while I was bottling milk Friday, I had lots of time to just stand there and think about everything. Bottling was going extremely good. Everything was going so smooth. Compared to all the other times I had bottled- this time we made absolutely NO mistakes, the bottler wasn't trying to eat any bottles (well, it never tried to, but it would damage the bottles), no bottles had fallen on the floor- I was feeling proud of us. :) And I knew even though it made me happy, it made the boss happier. 

Working closely with people I realize that many to all of us feel the same.  Sometimes we feel forgotten, left out, unwanted. We try everything in our power to become something, make something out of ourselves. But only God has the key. He's the One that makes everything out of nothing. He's the One that makes less than desirable things happen. He's the One who sent His only Son to die for me. Isn't that reason enough to feel loved? I mean, if you were in a mob and someone pulled a gun to your head- wouldn't you fell absolutely indebted if a lowly, plain dressed- almost ragged man that has air of authority would step in and get shot instead? That's love. He loved you enough to know that there's something else that has to happen in your life before it's your time to leave. 

He loved you and wants to know you very personally. He wants to know what makes you upset, He wants to know when you're hurt. And even though He already knows- He wants to hear it straight from you.

He cares. 

Where He leads, I will follow.

I want to make Him happy- making Him happy makes me happy.

my Mom

My Mom is an absolute beauty.

Her heart is even prettier. She loves so deeply. She puts so much time in to us. 

For last 2 decades she's supplied us with 3 meals almost every single day.  She got up in the wee hours of the morning to pack Daddy a lunch and kiss him good-bye to another long hard day on the road. And start the laundry. Then a couple hours later she'd pull herself out of bed again to get us up and off to school, etc. She's an amazing woman.

Now, Daddy doesn't leave until about 6:45. So it's actually luxury. But her life is still stressful as a home-school Mom, who also works at the farm when needed, and keeps our elderly neighbors flowerbeds and garden. She's seen alot in her 40+ years on this ole earth. You can just see it in those serious, yet happy hazel eyes of hers.

But she's worried. Worried what her children will have to face 10, 20, 30, maybe even 60 years from now. She has wrapped her being in to raising us in a good home. A home where you can see Jesus in everything done. 

She loves to relax and have fun with us all at the cabin. Sing. And just have time to spend with the family. Going on dates with Daddy and walking at the park.

She's amazing. She has contributed a big part to my life. 

We've hurt each-other deeply, but grace is great.

To all the wonderful Moms- you are amazing. Keep up the amazing work. You have girls and boys watching you every moment- gathering information and one day will be following in your footsteps.

Happy Mother's Day!

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Cities intrigue me. Bridges, trains, cars, people.

This weekend we went to the CHAP convention. It's a convention for homeschoolers. 

Had a bunch of fun with these crazy girls.

I was the oldest and it was very obvious too. I went to bed around 10:30- I woke up the next morning and they said- "Yeah, we talked till 3!" Wow! I remember those days! :)

The next morning, we packed up and then went back down to the river. The breeze over the night had cooled everything down- it was gorgeous.

We walked awhile and met a man in a wheelchair. I had suggestion we at least say "Hi". Then he launch into a life story and we talked for awhile. Its amazing what you can learn from older people- sometimes I was hoping he was lying or at least stretching the truth, but he did make a good story teller. :) 

I fell in love with everything. I hope to go back to CHAPs again. It was tons of fun. Meeting people. Making new friends. Hanging out with the crazies. And meeting people, I NEVER expected to meet.