when did it happen?

And so, today found me- awake by 4:30 and at work before 5. The cloudy, cold atmosphere made everyone wish for a blanket, good book, {coffee}, and some music. AND... guess what, I got just that. Well, minus the blanket, I'm quite okay without. :) And after my coffee, I got the second cup of [fresh, hot cider]. The raindrops hit the window- racing to the bottom, the leaves- they are making their way the earth's green floor. It's October. A beautiful time of year- really what time isn't?

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Working through difficult things isn't fun.

Much less watching your friends be hurt and stay hurt isn't fun either. That's why I try my best to help where I can. I know how it feels to be hurt. Rejected. I know the freedom I feel, why wouldn't someone want to accept the Love Jesus offers. But teens of this age and time no longer see the need for Him in their life. (Oh, how ironic coming from a teen, eh?)

And so as I was thinking over this all, it came to me- when did the church at large start losing it? When did they start losing Jesus? When they started allowing cars? Sunday School? Music? Different styles of head-coverings--or none at all?  Youth outings?

I believe with all my heart- it was actually when the appearance became more "saving" than a heart experience. When the size of the head-covering became a "life or death" issue. When suspenders became mandatory. And the size of check you tithed made you "buddy buddy" with the preacher. and When Pastors became "holier than thou".

It's so sad to see some so conservative. Wrapped and twisted into tradition and don't know why they do things, except out of fear for what may happen (to their church membership) and what people will say.

Life is much more than trying to please man. You won't ever please everyone. I'm sorry if you're convinced you can. You're wrong.

Only Jesus can give you the {Peace} you've been looking for.

We Are Yours -I Am They

To Help and Be Helped

You know that moment you know you should be freeing yourself from the torment. The pain you've been dealing with for the last several years. But it scares you. You don't want to feel that raw, open pain. Being ripped apart, so vulnerable to outside world? But you know after the pain is gone then comes the happiness, the joy you see in others lives who have already become so vulnerable.

The brokenness. The pain. The vulnerability. The trust. It all takes time, but in the end you will look back and never regret it.

We never experience something Jesus didn't deal with. He knows. He understands. And He wants you to live free. Free of guilt. Free of shame. Free of hiding.

You will NEVER regret it. Not once.

kintsukuroi (n.) (v.phr.) "to repair with gold"; the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken

Jesus can kintsukuroi. But only if you let him.

Heal The Wound

I used to wish that I could rewrite history

I used to dream that each mistake could be erased

Then I could just pretend

I never knew me back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame away

Hide all the evidence of who I've been

But it's the memory of

The place You brought me from

That keeps me on my knees

And even though I'm free

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful You are

I am broken, torn apart

Take the pieces of this heart

And heal the wound but leave the scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything

I don't take pride in what I bring

But I'll build an altar with

The rubble that You've found me in

And every stone will sing

Of what You can redeem

Don't let me forget

Everything You've done for me

Don't let me forget

The beauty in the suffering

My prayer is each of you would find healing in your suffering. Jesus dealt with the pain. He hung on that cross for you. For me. He could have hung there. The pain wouldn't have had to register. But it did. He let it. He understood what you and I would go through. He wanted to save us.

Praise Jesus!