wait.

I came across this verse yesterday. Obviously it hadn't been the first time I seen it, because what made it stand out was the underline I had put under it earlier. 

Sometimes we like to rush into everything. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one, as I have talked to other people about it... We need to learn to WAIT. Just calm down, take life one step at a time. Yeah, you'll get to the top faster if you take 2 while taking the physical stairs, but in life most times you'll take 2 steps forward 1 step back. And it's perfectly normal. God will bring things in your life to show you who He is. To make you HAVE to Trust Him. He wants you to be in communication with Him. He wants to tell you something. He truly enjoys when you just have to sit back and rest in His arms. He loves you and wants you to know that.

When God tells you something- you better believe it.

Just my morning musings. God bless you on your journey!

fear of the Holy.

It was so revitalizing to come home from an amazing sermon this morning and just think. Ponder. Ponder things in my life. Think about how truly selfish I am... (I'm so thankful God is a forgiving God.)

I also had time to sit, relax, enjoy some *black* coffee, music, and curl up with a book. The book that I flew through at SMBI so that I could accomplish the 600 word essay before the deadline... I thoroughly enjoyed reading it then- it seemed deeper than Tozer, but I think I was reading too fast- trying to comprehend too much. Mike Bickle, the author of Passion for Jesus has inspired me greatly and given me many answers to questions that none-the-less haunted me.

As I was reading, I was searching for a reason why Christians today seem so shallow (this has been a search I've been on for several months). AND I found the answer! (At least, I'm pretty sure I did!) And I can't really say it in another way and be effective, so here goes...

"If we have no fear of God, nor the fear of consequences, then we will easily break His commands. The downward spiral of morality in our society is directly proportional to the loss of our understanding of the greatness of God. In the minds of many who believe there is a God, He is only a little more than an elected official-not to be taken too seriously when we disgrace Him."1 

He continues that God/Jesus is seemingly a Santa Claus now days. SomeOne who rains gifts of Mercy, Love and Grace, but has no Just or Angry attributes. Who judges with simple Love and Mercy? Not even a judge in a physical Court of Law today simply forgives injustice without punishment. God even more so. Tozer says it like this: "Between His attributes no contradictions can exist. He need not suspend one to exercise another, for in Him all His attributes are one."

I believe with all my heart that God will become real to many people in this generation if they open their eyes to the seriousness that the short span of life granted them holds. If their eyes' scales loosen and reveal the true God. The Holy God, the One who is Jealous. But if the people continue to see status more important, hope is slim. (and by the way, it's scary, because often when status is important to someone, it is hidden- the motive is not easily noticed in your own life.) 

The greatness of God is REAL. We have to face it like it's real. Understand it is real and worship Him.

1. Passion for Jesus (Cultivating Extravagant Love for God) by Mike Bickle pg.28

my time at... SMBI!

Life at SMBI is amazing. (I would have said awesome, but then again- in Discovering Our God we learned that only God is Awesome. Not the new dress, or the car.)

I walked through those doors with mixed feelings. A new place. A new world. And totally new people- other than a handful of friends from back home. Uhh, I guess it was "back home", literally you aren't that far away from home at 45 min. but this was definitely home away from home.

I will have a hard time forgetting the great times we had in (and out) of the SMBI doors. Tour was definitely my favorite part aside from the missions trip we took for Personal Evangelism class to State College.

It was a great time for me to figure out who I really am. I think that every person should experience this- just ask me- I was NEVER going to go to Bible School- there was nothing that was more silly than that!

Starbucks outings

Or the little place I fell in love with- yes, at first sight too. :)

HeBrews Coffee Co.

 I never realized my laugh was such an amazing thing. I guess to me it's just normal, but I had so many people talking about my laugh- really guys, it was embarrassing! But it's ok. :)

A few highlights:

Tournaments

The fruit basket my dear mother prepared for me- instead of eating snack foods

StuCo devotions in the little white chapel

Thanksgiving Vaca at home and with Steph!!

Dressing up like Muslims for Personal Evangelism 

Going to Mercersburg Academy for the Christmas program (and the AWESOME sunset that evening- no the picture doesn't even give 1/4 credit!)

The Girl's dorm Gift Exchange

Melody's Chai in Discovering Our God

Banquet night, the Wolfer's lambs, Mary's song

I never realized while there how secure it was. Everyone had a story, everyone accepted that, everyone was cool with who you were. It didn't really matter if you were "cool" or not. (Or maybe that was something I missed...) If it was feasible, I'd live there- well, no, maybe not... But I am thinking pretty seriously about going back... :) 

I can't think of one thing that happened there that doesn't bring a flood of memories, smiles and maybe even an occasional outburst of laughter- yeah, for those of you who know me- you now what I'm talking about. :)

I pray that each of us will continue to seek God with that fervent love we cultivated at bible school.

When It Really Hurts but You Find Love

What on earth am I here for?

I was asking myself this question the other day- when matter of fact was there were some things going on in my life that weren't exactly wished for. Things that did not make me feel very loved, wanted, or at all accepted. 

Then while I was bottling milk Friday, I had lots of time to just stand there and think about everything. Bottling was going extremely good. Everything was going so smooth. Compared to all the other times I had bottled- this time we made absolutely NO mistakes, the bottler wasn't trying to eat any bottles (well, it never tried to, but it would damage the bottles), no bottles had fallen on the floor- I was feeling proud of us. :) And I knew even though it made me happy, it made the boss happier. 

Working closely with people I realize that many to all of us feel the same.  Sometimes we feel forgotten, left out, unwanted. We try everything in our power to become something, make something out of ourselves. But only God has the key. He's the One that makes everything out of nothing. He's the One that makes less than desirable things happen. He's the One who sent His only Son to die for me. Isn't that reason enough to feel loved? I mean, if you were in a mob and someone pulled a gun to your head- wouldn't you fell absolutely indebted if a lowly, plain dressed- almost ragged man that has air of authority would step in and get shot instead? That's love. He loved you enough to know that there's something else that has to happen in your life before it's your time to leave. 

He loved you and wants to know you very personally. He wants to know what makes you upset, He wants to know when you're hurt. And even though He already knows- He wants to hear it straight from you.

He cares. 

Where He leads, I will follow.

I want to make Him happy- making Him happy makes me happy.

Some Teaching? ALL Teaching

So the sun has dipped behind the mountain

and I finally sit down- to write. Daddy has been bugging me about blogging like I use to for quite some time, and although I thoroughly enjoy it... uh hum! Time? Is there any time to sit down and just blog?! It's like some days I'm up before 5 am and still at work at 9 pm. There ain't no way I'm finding time to blog in my week!!!

But after this morning's wonderful sermon and the hike up to Eagle Rock...

They really are such a sweet couple!!! :)

I decided I have time to blog, SO here I am!

Well, when I was in school- like 1st & 2nd grade, I admired my teachers- and rightly so, but now that I'm older- I realize they had flaws like any one of us. And along with admiring them I, too, wanted to teach school. Well, somewhere along the way that teaching desire diminished and I wanted to become a RN. But of course, now here I am, a common farm girl. (And... I love my job, by the way!!) But still, teaching is something that happens in everyday life. We are always teaching each other something at the farm- whether it's good or bad! And I found a note in my Bible this morning that really hit me-

Yeah! It never hit me that hard before. I have made some great friendships at the farm- with complete strangers, what do they see in my life? I especially think of this lovely lady-

Samantha was raised in a home that was anything but Christian. Miraculously, both her and her boyfriend are here- after a horrific accident. She means so much to me and my life. I will never forget the times we hung out together, going to work early , and just working together. The questions we worked through together, the many questions she still has about Mennonites and the answers I will have to give even though they go against my grain! (Because of church differences.) She has an amazing testimony and she isn't scared to share it! Friday she'll be going to Roxbury Treatment Center and will be sharing a short version of it. She'll definitely need prayer!

Back to what I was saying- I work with her every single day of the week. And with her upbringing and all, I'm sure my lifestyle is teaching her alot. It's pretty much up to me (with God's help) to show her what's right and wrong- in everyday life. What is my life teaching her (or anyone looking on)? Is it what I want to see in this falling world when I'm old and a stooped Grandma?

God willing, we'll (Samantha & I) can forever be great friends and will grow old together and have baking days where there's only a little bit of dough left and we share it, and drink chai together, and share silly secrets, and talk about really deep subjects. I hope that never ends!

We don't often think about our neighbors watching us closely, but I've come to realize ours keep a close eye on us and how do they say we live, does our talk and our walk line up? Or do we do some stuff Monday- Saturday that would never happen on a Sunday? (That, of course, is other than work!)

Remember we always teach MORE by how we LIVE.

Perspectives

 I get annoyed at how people seem to think that some people have life all figured out they have everything at their finger tips and they're just cruising through life like there's nothing to it. But, sad to say, there is people that think like that and they are usually the ones that everyone either look up to or down on those they think are like that, because "they have life better than us". They either are reaching for that goal or saying "Nope, they're crazy, We could never get there, so we aren't gonna be their friend! We need to associate with 'those of our kind.'" Really, What causes issues like that to arise? Is it the comparing- like I talked about on my last post? 

  The truth is that NO ONE has life totally figured out. No one is cruising through life! We all have are ups and downs. AND if you changed your perspective and get to know the person better you'll end up realizing that they aren't as perfect as you thought. They have their days that are bad. They worry about their finances. They have the same problems everyone else faces, but they react differently. They don't get 'all up in the air' and call every person about their financial state and ask for funds to help them get back above the water. They may be broke, have several thousand dollar debts, maybe their mortgage is due and they have no money to pay it, but still they hang on and just wait on God to move. He makes it work out... AND  they didn't cry to their friends about their financial state. 

      Although there isn't usually easy fixes to problems. We usually make them worse by getting ourselves all worked up about them. 

 I once read of a lady who decided that she wasn't going to tell anyone about the mountain she was facing. She desperately wanted to call her best friend, she even picked up the phone several times and dialed her number, but decided this was a journey she was to take by herself. That night as she lay in bed she poured out her heart to God and He answered her prayer the very next day. Isn't our God so amazing that He works every minor detail out for our good? 

 I'm not saying that we should never ask a friend for advice or share our heart with them, but truly I have trained myself (I'm not sure if it's for the good or the bad...) to just keep everything to myself, I start feeling like a bother to everyone when I do tell them whats on my mind.

 And yes, that's what my post was about last time. We have to get over feeling like we are inferior to others. But my human tendency is to hold everything in. And then I explode when something really goes bad. I'm trying to break that, but I tell you. IT'S NOT EASY! Only God can help you through it, no friend is going to be able to help you break that habit. 

 Sometimes when someone asks advice about something- I'd like to give them cold cut, black and white answers. but most times they aren't like that. (Today's world has many grey areas!) I guess I have to agree I take time to think through situations like that. I think and think and sometimes I still don't have answers. Especially when you know the person is not really willing to change the way they think! 

I may make no sense at all, (that's why I call my blog 'My Musings' :D) remember this... 

Even if it looks like someone has everything put together. 

They don't, they just react to difficult situations differently.
Change your perspective- it'll probably make all the difference!