wait.

I came across this verse yesterday. Obviously it hadn't been the first time I seen it, because what made it stand out was the underline I had put under it earlier. 

Sometimes we like to rush into everything. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one, as I have talked to other people about it... We need to learn to WAIT. Just calm down, take life one step at a time. Yeah, you'll get to the top faster if you take 2 while taking the physical stairs, but in life most times you'll take 2 steps forward 1 step back. And it's perfectly normal. God will bring things in your life to show you who He is. To make you HAVE to Trust Him. He wants you to be in communication with Him. He wants to tell you something. He truly enjoys when you just have to sit back and rest in His arms. He loves you and wants you to know that.

When God tells you something- you better believe it.

Just my morning musings. God bless you on your journey!

my time at... SMBI!

Life at SMBI is amazing. (I would have said awesome, but then again- in Discovering Our God we learned that only God is Awesome. Not the new dress, or the car.)

I walked through those doors with mixed feelings. A new place. A new world. And totally new people- other than a handful of friends from back home. Uhh, I guess it was "back home", literally you aren't that far away from home at 45 min. but this was definitely home away from home.

I will have a hard time forgetting the great times we had in (and out) of the SMBI doors. Tour was definitely my favorite part aside from the missions trip we took for Personal Evangelism class to State College.

It was a great time for me to figure out who I really am. I think that every person should experience this- just ask me- I was NEVER going to go to Bible School- there was nothing that was more silly than that!

Starbucks outings

Or the little place I fell in love with- yes, at first sight too. :)

HeBrews Coffee Co.

 I never realized my laugh was such an amazing thing. I guess to me it's just normal, but I had so many people talking about my laugh- really guys, it was embarrassing! But it's ok. :)

A few highlights:

Tournaments

The fruit basket my dear mother prepared for me- instead of eating snack foods

StuCo devotions in the little white chapel

Thanksgiving Vaca at home and with Steph!!

Dressing up like Muslims for Personal Evangelism 

Going to Mercersburg Academy for the Christmas program (and the AWESOME sunset that evening- no the picture doesn't even give 1/4 credit!)

The Girl's dorm Gift Exchange

Melody's Chai in Discovering Our God

Banquet night, the Wolfer's lambs, Mary's song

I never realized while there how secure it was. Everyone had a story, everyone accepted that, everyone was cool with who you were. It didn't really matter if you were "cool" or not. (Or maybe that was something I missed...) If it was feasible, I'd live there- well, no, maybe not... But I am thinking pretty seriously about going back... :) 

I can't think of one thing that happened there that doesn't bring a flood of memories, smiles and maybe even an occasional outburst of laughter- yeah, for those of you who know me- you now what I'm talking about. :)

I pray that each of us will continue to seek God with that fervent love we cultivated at bible school.

rubies camp 2015.

And with a grateful, over flowing heart, I present to you-

These ladies have taught me so much about myself. About others. And most importantly drew me closer to God- knowing I could not make it on my own.

We had a great week including

• getting rained out while playing softball
• Jug-A-Lug
• Swimming
• Cabin Time / Talking
• Devotions / Sharing
• Life Stories / Sharing Time around the Camp-fire
• watching God work in their hearts 
• all the wonderful food including the Pizza we won for Cleanest Cabin! :)
• "Of course you can't play with us! You don't have a shiny scale to play flash tag!"
• Clifton's blessing- the "Ticklish Reuben" song
• Trevor doing like 130 push-ups (nearly double his record)
• Pastor Jeff sitting on our barrel in "Slingshots"
• the party Thursday night / watching for meteors
• the huge spiders downstairs

And of course, many other things like Mini-Classes and Creek Walks...

Sooo. Here's the picture tour of our week... :)

Pastor Jeff in "Water Balloon Slingshots"

and who DOESN'T like getting mail?

whoever would have thought this stuff
would come in so handy?!

the EPIC fail

And with that we ended a very wonderful week. A week that will never be forgotten. Maybe to a degree, but not totally. Each of us will remember something. If it isn't something I did. We did. Jeff said. Trevor did. We will remember what God did! 
Love each of you beautiful ladies!

When It Really Hurts but You Find Love

What on earth am I here for?

I was asking myself this question the other day- when matter of fact was there were some things going on in my life that weren't exactly wished for. Things that did not make me feel very loved, wanted, or at all accepted. 

Then while I was bottling milk Friday, I had lots of time to just stand there and think about everything. Bottling was going extremely good. Everything was going so smooth. Compared to all the other times I had bottled- this time we made absolutely NO mistakes, the bottler wasn't trying to eat any bottles (well, it never tried to, but it would damage the bottles), no bottles had fallen on the floor- I was feeling proud of us. :) And I knew even though it made me happy, it made the boss happier. 

Working closely with people I realize that many to all of us feel the same.  Sometimes we feel forgotten, left out, unwanted. We try everything in our power to become something, make something out of ourselves. But only God has the key. He's the One that makes everything out of nothing. He's the One that makes less than desirable things happen. He's the One who sent His only Son to die for me. Isn't that reason enough to feel loved? I mean, if you were in a mob and someone pulled a gun to your head- wouldn't you fell absolutely indebted if a lowly, plain dressed- almost ragged man that has air of authority would step in and get shot instead? That's love. He loved you enough to know that there's something else that has to happen in your life before it's your time to leave. 

He loved you and wants to know you very personally. He wants to know what makes you upset, He wants to know when you're hurt. And even though He already knows- He wants to hear it straight from you.

He cares. 

Where He leads, I will follow.

I want to make Him happy- making Him happy makes me happy.

Some Teaching? ALL Teaching

So the sun has dipped behind the mountain

and I finally sit down- to write. Daddy has been bugging me about blogging like I use to for quite some time, and although I thoroughly enjoy it... uh hum! Time? Is there any time to sit down and just blog?! It's like some days I'm up before 5 am and still at work at 9 pm. There ain't no way I'm finding time to blog in my week!!!

But after this morning's wonderful sermon and the hike up to Eagle Rock...

They really are such a sweet couple!!! :)

I decided I have time to blog, SO here I am!

Well, when I was in school- like 1st & 2nd grade, I admired my teachers- and rightly so, but now that I'm older- I realize they had flaws like any one of us. And along with admiring them I, too, wanted to teach school. Well, somewhere along the way that teaching desire diminished and I wanted to become a RN. But of course, now here I am, a common farm girl. (And... I love my job, by the way!!) But still, teaching is something that happens in everyday life. We are always teaching each other something at the farm- whether it's good or bad! And I found a note in my Bible this morning that really hit me-

Yeah! It never hit me that hard before. I have made some great friendships at the farm- with complete strangers, what do they see in my life? I especially think of this lovely lady-

Samantha was raised in a home that was anything but Christian. Miraculously, both her and her boyfriend are here- after a horrific accident. She means so much to me and my life. I will never forget the times we hung out together, going to work early , and just working together. The questions we worked through together, the many questions she still has about Mennonites and the answers I will have to give even though they go against my grain! (Because of church differences.) She has an amazing testimony and she isn't scared to share it! Friday she'll be going to Roxbury Treatment Center and will be sharing a short version of it. She'll definitely need prayer!

Back to what I was saying- I work with her every single day of the week. And with her upbringing and all, I'm sure my lifestyle is teaching her alot. It's pretty much up to me (with God's help) to show her what's right and wrong- in everyday life. What is my life teaching her (or anyone looking on)? Is it what I want to see in this falling world when I'm old and a stooped Grandma?

God willing, we'll (Samantha & I) can forever be great friends and will grow old together and have baking days where there's only a little bit of dough left and we share it, and drink chai together, and share silly secrets, and talk about really deep subjects. I hope that never ends!

We don't often think about our neighbors watching us closely, but I've come to realize ours keep a close eye on us and how do they say we live, does our talk and our walk line up? Or do we do some stuff Monday- Saturday that would never happen on a Sunday? (That, of course, is other than work!)

Remember we always teach MORE by how we LIVE.

Busy Life?

Huh. Funny I thought life would be extraordinarily fun after I reached upper teens. I'm realizing now how my idealistic life was really off the wall!

Friday, the 8th, was our first Youth Gathering!! That was exciting- building up to my super exciting weekend/week!!!

(Saturday) So the day rolls around- I drag myself out of bed around 6:30 to run see Dad before he leaves for work (or else- I wouldn't see him till next Sun!) Then I fly back to bed so I can so-halfish catch up on sleep... :) Well, I packed in record speed- 45 min! 11:45 rolled around and I was freaking out I'd get lost in the middle of Lancaster! But all my fears were distinguished when... I recognized everything from last year- when we Jr's had went shopping and also when the Nurse took me to MedExpress for my burned heel. I arrived, and like none of the girls were around I'm like ok, I didn't really expect to be the first one here, but fine! So LiMiT training started that evening...

(Sunday) Sweaty and tired... Ready for a break, but still we move on TOGETHER. Our team was moving on inch by inch, but we were getting closer to finishing the task. That is- almost. Until the groan was heard further down the line, "Oh, no! We disconnected!" Sooo. Back to the start again! Again? after we had come so far? Yes, we went back. It was disappointing, but as a team- WE WOULD DO THIS! I finally came tothe realization TDA's aren't that bad!

(Monday) Anticipation built the closer the time neared for the girls to come. Last minute finishing touches. 12:35 our first girl arrives. Then hundreds- yes, literally hundreds come pouring in- till all 240 were there.

Bad attitudes came as one looks at the schedule "You mean!?" Another sighs, "I give up! Everyone else is finished, let's just GO!" I flashed that you-got-this-girl look to the counselor.

Supper-time rolls around not a bit too fast. The director's son, Caleb, just COULD-NOT wait! Then... "You didn't know Canadian's eat dessert first!?" he teased as he ate his Popsicle.

(Tuesday) With dampened spirits and drenched clothes we tramp to the zip-line. Just the thought of zip-lining turned my stomach. The trail down to the platform to catch the kids was slick, the plat-form was none-the-less slimy with mud. Neither of us 2 down there knowing what we're doing, the conditions, and all- it took 4 people to catch the one coming down! NO JOKE!

Playing in the gym for lack of anything else to do.

Pyramid Ball in the rain!!! We losers did 20 jumping jacks for the girls... :)

First Chorus practice!! Living Inside the Crayon Box

Making new friends is totally amazing! The type you can share with and they feel with you. Those 9:30 pm walks in the rain. The horse running wild. EVERYTHING was wonderful! Even the rain, the mud, the slipping, the sliding, the falls. EVERYTHING!

(Wednesday) We stand in the dining hall gabbing, not knowing what to do with the girls being in their cabins already. Nelson & Elaine come out of the bathroom, both having suspicious looks on their faces... ok? "Do any of you want to become certified?" Elaine calls. Certified for what!? Well, all 6 of us tramp to the bathroom, Elaine gets a plunger in the midst of her laughter. And shows us what to do. We just stand there laughing historically. Melody (already certified from Tuesday) takes the plunger and gets the job done- but not without us devising another plan... One for Thursday night Talent Show. ;)

This thing probably had the work-out of it's life hauling all 6 of us around!

(Thursday) As the week neared an end- I could tell my body had taken a toll. Head-ache, shoulder-ache (from falling in the rain), and stomach-ache (from all the laughing!) :( Well, what else? :) What God was doing in these ladies lives was incredible! Changing them for the better, drawing them closer to Himself. Showing them it's ok to be a woman.

^Talent Show^

Thursday Night PARTY!!!

Gumball Machine Good-night Huggers!!

Then came Talent Show... A lot of people were bugging us Jr. Counselor's to do a play, because we had did one last year (First Anniversary Jr. Counselor Play!!!) ;) Well, at first we didn't have anything planned until- Wed. night when the episode arose... Thanks to the help of Nelson & Elaine, Brock & Grant Ruhl this thing wouldn't have gotten anywhere... Your suggestions were everything, the water idea though wasn't used cause this was girl's camp! ;) lol We pretty much re-played Wed. evenings scene with some additions... I wanted to add the video... but for some reason it won't play so, sorry!

(Friday) We couldn't have asked for better weather all week... even though it rained it helped us realize we need to be flexible and learn to deal with what God sends our way anyway! Closing program came- friends & family poured in then suddenly EVERYONE was GONE! Debriefing... then I headed for home, but not without getting myself lost in the middle of Lancaster! Well, actually I wasn't very lost at all, but I didn't know where I was... If only I had punched everything into my GPS before I had left, instead of thinking I could do it on my own... So I got home at 6:50... My brother sure were ready to see me, for some reason! They said they were bored! Very interesting! :) 

Program

Jr. Counselors

Clean-up afterward

Well, there's a rundown of my week- specifically posted for my friends who won't be talking much to me in church tomorrow... Very sorry, I couldn't stay!-if it wasn't for teaching Sunday School I doubt I'd be there at all!

Words

"Sticks and stones can break the bone, but words can never hurt me."

It's a proverb most of us have heard- one that we may even have quoted. I definitely remember quoting it, especially when I was hurt by what someone said, I often cover up things like that- not just because i don't want to hurt them, because they hurt me back, but because, if I stay hurt for too long- I start forming bitter attitudes towards them and from there everything goes DOWN.

Words can also do the opposite- they make you feel AMAZING! (Like the time the whole office down at work exploded with hooting and congratulations after I announced I FINALLY got brave enough to drink my first pint of milk- don't laugh! I hated milk-- & I still can't say I absolutely LOVE it, but hey! I'm drinking it now!!! ;)) To say the least, I felt extremely good- it was kinda like that feeling you get when you finally see a friend you haven't seen in ages and you give each-other a gigantic hug- it's just an amazing un-explainable feeling...

I know- I haven't always been so good at handing out encouraging words, actually, sadly, a fair amount of them are the complete opposite- tearing someone down, making them feel like dirt. It's awful- especially to family- I'm not so cautious what I say to family- the ones I'm around every day and they start getting to me- the laundry scattered across the floor, the trucks in the middle of the floor- not realizing it, stepping on them and having the stacks poke your foot, really gets those words to fly (& maybe even some choice words- pre-picked for the occasion)!!

And then again- I've also handed out some praise- but it's highly outweighed by words fit to be never said.

I have come to conclusion that this world would be an extremely different place to live if we learned how and when to use our words correctly. Some people hand out compliments almost too easily- flattering many. Some of us know how to put someone back a step or 2...  

This song explains my feelings pretty well. 

*Let my words be life, Let my words be truth. 
I don't wanna say a word- Unless it points the world back to You.*

Totally Abandoned

Abandoned! The very sound of the word shocks my heart.

¹aban·don

 transitive verb \ə-ˈban-dən\

: to leave and never return to (someone who needs
protection or help)

: to leave and never return to (something)

: to leave (a place) because of danger

1

a :  to give up to the control or influence of another person or agent

b :  to give up with the intent of never again claiming a right or interest in <abandon property>

2

:  to withdraw from often in the face of danger or encroachment <abandon ship>

3

:  to withdraw protection, support, or help from <he abandoned his family>

4

:  to give (oneself) over unrestrainedly

5

a :  to cease from maintaining, practicing, or using<abandoned their native language>

b :  to cease intending or attempting to perform <abandoned the escape>

While I was watching people stroll the halls of the mall the other evening, I was bored, tired, & couldn't stay focused on my books- that I probably SHOULD be reading, and music didn't appeal to me. But finally I saw a familiar face in the hall! A girl from Bible Study. She always seemed quiet and reserved, and yet, she was extremely fun to hang out with. 

What bothered me though was she saw me and didn't even attempt to wave or anything. I felt ABANDONED! Like she never wanted to see me in the first place. As I sat there feeling kind of sorry for myself, Jesus stepped in and said, "Look, Luronda, you've been doing this same thing to Me for a long time already.You haven't made much effort to come and enjoy what I have for you to revel in, instead, you work from before the sun's up till long after it's down, and never even take 10 min. for Me. Do you think I feel abandoned too?"

That hit me HARD. Here I was- rushing from one job to the next, wearing myself out- so that till I returned home again I was drained and in need of a bed, thinking tomorrow I'll have more time- I can take 10 or so extra minutes in my "Jesus time". 

How many of us abandon Him? We have so much going we decide that work is more important, sleep is more needed, and time hanging out with friends is necessary than taking time for Jesus to move in our lives and show us that He is the Most High- the most needed Person in our lives. My desire is to be Abandoned in Christ- then whether I feel left behind or unaccepted- I can be reassured that Jesus is beside me- no matter where I am- and He will never leave me- if I never leave Him!

Thanks Y'all!

Thanks to all my great friends and family,  who made last Saturday (my birthday) so special!! All the texts, voxes, cards, and all. It was amazing!!!!! :) thank y'all!! 

 {One Thousand Gifts} from Mom & Dad --Ann Voskamp is among my favorite writers! :)

daisies from a good friend- Bethany- she even got them in my favorite color!!! :) love you, Beth!!

Gossip

In our churches today, Satan has entrapped us by getting us accustomed to gossip that it's nearly something to be expected, and we probably wouldn't admit it's gossip, because we all know how 'sinful' gossip is! We'd cover it up by saying, "Hey, did you hear the latest news about so-and-so? They..." I have heard some people say, "Did you hear the latest gossip?" But wow! They were very brave to say that. Obviously it didn't face them to actually admit they were gossiping, either they had worn their conscience thin or they were never taught in the first place that gossip is wrong.

Now if you knew me well, I wouldn't have to say this... But I hate gossip, I guess I've had enough people believe everything they hear about me and well, it makes for some bad attitudes and such like. Even when a person doesn't believe it, but comes and asks you about it anyway- either it'll make you cry or laugh that there's such a messed up story out about you.  

For example, I'll use the most recent story out about me- one that really cracks me up- it's so off the wall something I wouldn't even consider doing. That's why it's so funny...

Yesterday morning when I took the guys to school we noticed that someone had done donuts in the middle of the parking lot. It was perfect conditions! Snowy, icy... Yeah, I agree, it probably was very fun! The boys desperately wanted me to, but... I didn't feel like being stupid. 

(Now if you take that as me thinking you're stupid if you do, DON'T! That's not what I'm meaning! I understand guys like having fun & that's part of it!) 

And then last night at PTA mtg.- 

In which I had no desire of going to, but didn't feel like keeping the boys occupied for the whole evening- 

nearly everyone had left and the principal was rounding up his kiddos- after he had finished putting on his son's jacket he turned around a just stood there- yeah, that awkward moment- when you know you should say something and you just don't know what to say! Then he gets this funny grin on his face and says,"Heard you were writing your signature out there in the snow on the driveway!" I probably gave him the blankest look- I'm like What!? I'm so lost, what are you trying to get at? Then he says, pointing at his wife, "Yeah, that's what her dad called it." I probably got an even blanker expression on my face but at least I was innocent! :) Then he said, "Your brother was telling us about how you were doing donuts on the drive this morning." And I'm thinking, "Yeah right! In his wildest dream I did donuts on the school parking lot!" 

As it turned out- my brother did not say anything about ME doing donuts in the parking lot, except that he wanted me too, after seeing someone else had done it. And the story got messed up, and they believed I was the one doing the donuts! 

No, it didn't hurt me, but it sure was funny!! 

I had to think about all the stories I may have passed around in my lifetime that sounded true, but were a little tweaked, and they sounded just a little better if I emphasized the RIGHT words. (or should that be the WRONG words!?) :) No, I didn't really changed the story, and I didn't know if the story was exactly true, but, it sounded like something they would do and so I believed it and passed it on to my other friends who would like to hear this "amazing" story about so-and-so... And then it went on down the line and got those overly emphasized words changed to a synonym that made it sound a little worse, maybe a minor detail changed slightly, and then when it comes back to the person who started the story or even the victim of the story, it can hurt them very much. Especially if they're the kind to get hurt easily. 

 And in the case of the story above- he probably didn't change a thing. But he misunderstood what was being said and I guess I could've let it hurt me, but what would be the point? It would only result in a bad attitude towards him & I don't think that's the way a Christian is suppose to live- actually  I KNOW that's the not the way. We are to love each other, and when you have a bad attitude-- you may-as-well plan on saying good-bye to love!

   As for me- I have gotten myself hurt, others hurt, and even my authorities hurt by trying to stop gossip, but I know that I was trying to save the person from the embarrassment. I don't care how true the story was, I don't want that person hurting any more than they are! Many people gossip about people they cannot stand and so they're attitude towards them only gets uglier. 

We can stop gossip if we determine in our hearts to not spread everything we hear about a person. It can hurt you both AND it also gives them the licence to spread ugly stories about you.